I will never forget my last soccer game as a collegiate athlete ... we were the home team, playing on one of the university campus fields. There was a small group of fans watching. My next memory of that day is turning in my jersey to the athletic department. It was my sophomore year. After ten years playing soccer, I quit. Just like that, it was over. To this day, I can still feel the emptiness, sadness, and disappointment inside. 

This was the first time I can remember quitting anything in my life. It was also the first time I had a coach with whom I could not connect. I did not know how to tell her I was feeling stressed managing the twin demands of school and sports. I did not know how to share with her I was losing my drive and passion for the sport that had always been at the center of my life. She did not have the tools to talk to me, either. She never reached out to ask what was wrong. In fact, I am not sure she even noticed. I will never forget the last words I heard from the sidelines: “You don’t even care.” That couldn’t have been further from the truth. 

In my mind, I had two options: stay or go. I chose to go. Looking back, I wish that both my coach and I had the emotional intelligence skills that could have helped us have meaningful conversations to address the situation. Perhaps I would have decided to keep playing. I will never know for sure. But I do know this: the athlete- coach relationship is critical to the success of an athlete. 

Over the past several years, I have had the honor of working with athletes and their coaches on building the skills of emotional intelligence and focus. 

eiFOCUS® was founded on the intersection of my life experiences as an athlete, coach to athletes, parent to elite athletes, and daughter of athletes combined with my professional experience as an emotional intelligence executive coach and consultant.

As coaches, we can teach technical skills, no problem. Sometimes, though, it’s not so easy to know what to do when we notice a stressed, demotivated, or sad athlete. My hope is that eiFOCUS® will give both coaches and athletes the tools to empower themselves to thrive in both their sports and lives.